BronxPearl v2.0

Confessions, ramblings, musings, and opinions from a BBW as she embraces 30 31 Years and Life (or at least tries to).

Monday, March 31, 2008

How Many Readers Do *You* Have?

One question that I have increasingly received since I turned Belle-Noir into a blog is “How many readers do you have?” I tend to laugh when I receive it as the response to the question of "can I interview you for my site?"

I know it matters what your readership is. You can have the flyest blog around, but if only your mama, 1st cousin and Lil' June Bug read it every day, chances are, no one will ever hear about how wonderful it is. Every blogging expert around talks about how to increase your readership and all of the tips and tricks of the trade. I have been following them as well for the Belle-Noir blog, and some of them do seem to be working.

However, my honest opinion of the question—especially when it comes from another aspiring plus company is “does it really matter?” Either you are going to do the interview or you are not. I could only have 50 people who come to the site on a constant basis, but of those 50, 20 might be big timers in the industry. I could have thousands of people who read the blog, but none of them could have the power to move your business anywhere.

There is no such thing as bad publicity. Whether the audience is 50 or 50,000, any interview that you choose to do will be beneficial down the line. Of course I am praying for the day that what I am doing with Belle-Noir is worthy enough to be featured in The Daily News or some trendy magazine. But when start-ups like myself ask to interview me, I have in the past and will continue to say "Sure!"

Just an observation and rant for today....

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Spring has Sprung

It has been a minute since I even had a moment to blog here. My efforts have been focused obviously on the other site, with pretty good results so far.

Spring is here (in case you didn't know it) and with it, time to get ready for warmer weather and everything else that Spring brings. Bright colors, cute new outfits, lip glosses, purses,'d think I was the ultimate girly-girl in reading that, right? LOL! I'm growing into my girlie-ness at the ripe ol' age of 30. I have to admit that the whole process of putting on make-up, cute high heel shoes, and getting my hair & nails "did" on a regular basis is getting to be kind of addictive. I found myself on the sephora website just the other day looking at all of the pretty lip glosses and skin lotions and potions that are a dream for Springtime.

There are just so many promises for this Spring! I am determined to get my finances in better order (at least I only owe family--although they can be worse than any bill collector when it comes to making sure they get their money back!). I keep saying 2008 is my year when it comes to all things Belle-Noir. So why not try and make it my year all around?

I have so many more focused and thought-out posts to get to. An update on Starks, and reminisce post, and so much more!

I think that I might actually be home this weekend (not having any money will do that for you). So I hope to get some posts up soon.

In the meantime...happy Spring! :)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

When It All Falls Down...

As a native New Yorker, I was only mildly disappointed in now former governor Eliot Spitzer when the scandal broke about his alleged participation in a prostitution ring. It is a scene that has played out far too often as of late in the eyes of the public. The woefull politician, coming to the podium to admit his wrong-doing, with his violated wife standing by his side.

Unlike other wives, however, Silda Spitzer looked like she was ready to take him for every penny he has. Or worse, make sure that their teenage daughters have nothing to do with him again until they are 18 and can decide the matter for themselves.

I have had the debate with several people over the past day or so about why I was so quick to let men like Bill Clinton "slide" but wanted the book thrown at Spitzer. The answer really is simple. While all of them--Clinton, McGreevy--conducted themselves with behavior that was certainly morally wrong, their affairs were simply that: affairs with consenting adults. Spitzer involvement with the prostitution ring was illegal. Not only that, but he laundered the money in an attempt to hide his dirty little trysts. For the illegality (is that a word?) of his actions, Mr. Spitzer, had to step down from the position of governor.

In the meantime, New York State, in the wake of all of the maylay, now has a new governor--and wouldn't you know it...

David Paterson is not only the first Black governor of the Empire State, but he is also the first legally blind one.

A Black man in control of one of the most popular states in the nation (is that a biased opinion? yes!) Can a Black man being in control of the entire nation be far behind?

I will have to blog on that another day...

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Three Strikes

I got asked out on an unofficial date. It was supposed to be today, but it didn't happen, mostly due to a lack of communication and my not wanting to stress the issue. Here's the situation:

One of my co-workers (I'll call him Starks, since everyone says he looks like former NY Knick player John Starks), I think, has been flirting with me. I say "I think" because to be honest, I am completely oblivious when it comes to things like this. I can admit that my self-esteem when it comes to men being attracted to me is completely non-existent. My co-worker/road dawg swears that he is into me. Which was fine. I had invited him to the poetry night back in February and he said he wanted to come. Coolness. I even placed a reminder note and flyer in his mailbox the weekend of the event with a cute lil' note. Starks didn't come, but I was cool with it. He was apologetic and did take the time to listen to my recounting of the event as well as the play-by-play by the co-workers of mine who did come and, if I must say so myself, very eager to tell everyone about how fabulously the event went.

Still...that was strike one.

A little more than a week ago, I was talking to another co-worker about a comedy show that comedienne Erica Watson (who was the hostess at Phat Poetry) was doing at some club called The Tank. Now, Starks was coming towards my desk while this conversation was taking place. He immediately pipes up and says "I want to go." I smile and say okay and leave it at that. The day before the event, he takes it upon himself to remind ME to give him all of the info about the show i.e. address of the club, what time it starts, where I'll be, etc. I print up the info from the web, put my cell phone number at the bottom and gave it to him.

Sidebar: Erica's show was the BOMB! She is one of the most talented up and coming comedians out right now. Please check her out at

Starks was a no-show yet again. Strike 2.

When I call him on Monday to remind him to do his timecard so I can approve them (no, I'm not his boss but OUR boss was at a meeting & it is my responsibility to approve timecards when the boss is out) the first thing he says when I say hello is that he is so sorry that he couldn't make it on Saturday.

"I had some baby-mama drama I had to deal with," he said.


Okay, so anyone who knows me knows that I have for the LONGEST time said that I am not even trying to deal on a casual basis with dudes that have kids. This is one of the reasons why. While I have accepted the fact (?) that as I get older it may be more and more difficult to find men who do not have children, I'm still hopeful that it will happen. The crux of it for me is this: if you are a dead-beat dad, why would I want to deal with you? You are obviously not someone who can handle responsibility nor consequences of your actions. If you are daddy of the year, that is great, but what room will that leave me in your life? Obviously, your children with this other woman (women? ick.) should be your first prority. But I'm not trying to get blown off for "baby-mama drama" i.e. "is going out with some chic more important than taking little Tyrone or little Tasha out for some quality time?"

I digress...back to our story...

So, when I see Starks on Tuesday, he thanks me for calling about his timecard and once again apologizes for Saturday.

Me: It's okay. You have dissed me twice now for me inviting you out somewhere.

Starks: I thought people get three strikes, though.

Me: Most women do give three strikes. I'm not most women,

Starks: Hmm. We'll see.

So Starks offers to take me out for lunch to make up for his other no-shows. I say okay. He asks if I want to go Friday or Saturday. I say Saturday because that way, neither of us will have to rush back to work if we meet up at 3:00pm when he gets out of work. He says okay.

That was Thursday. Friday goes by without so much as a mention of "so are we still on for tomorrow?" or anything. Road Dawg and Denise both asked me why I didn't say anything to him to confirm. I say because he asked ME to lunch. He has dissed me TWICE on things I invited HIM to. If there is one thing that dealing with The Negro for as long as I did taught me, it is that when a man wants to see you and go out with you, there will be nothing stopping him from doing so and he will make his intentions known.

I was halfway hoping that he would have called this morning to ask me if we were still on for today. I was probably going to say no, since I was not really feeling going out in the rain today or going through the effort of getting cute. But now, at 3:42pm, I don't have to worry about it at all.

I don't know what his excuse will be on Tuesday when I see him. I don't really want one. It will make my life easier to not have to worry about having Starks on the radar.

Still, I wonder if I should have said something on Friday about it. I didn't because I didn't want to seem like the overly eager chic that hasn't been on a date in forever (even though I haven't LOL). But it would be nice to be asked on a date by a gentleman and not have to explain how it's supposed to be done...

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Feast or Famine

My life is very much like this: either everything is going on and all within a few weeks of each other, or nothing is going on for l-o-n-g stretches of time.

The new site is up and running (yay!) and is flowing exactly the way that I wanted it to for this first week. We will see what happens next week. LOL!

I want so much to blog about Belle in Brooklyn's post re: thriving vs. surviving. Because I am completely surviving right now as opposed to completely thriving. But I fear it will have to wait for at least a week. I have meetings, event planning, events, and more site things to work on. And all, seemingly, between now and March 15th. Then, a lull before the end of the month bang again.

But I will be back. Starting this blog up again was a great thing for me and I am hoping that if I can get my writing skills back up to par, perhaps it will lead to something more.