BronxPearl v2.0

Confessions, ramblings, musings, and opinions from a BBW as she embraces 30 31 Years and Life (or at least tries to).

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Three-Oh (Part One)

Original Post Date: Saturday June 23, 2007 - 06:11pm
Sometimes you read something that kinda slaps you in the face. And you can't help but stop and reflect on it.

I ran across a blog post from a former friend today. Even though she and I have long since stopped talking--because of my stupidity--I still have checked in on her blog. Nosiness, yes, but also to watch her growth. Now, she doesn't post often, but she did post something on her blog on my birthday. Only people who know the situation would know that the post is about what happened to end our newly budding friendship and the significance of posting it on that day.

It ripped at me like nothing I could really describe because it so eloquently versed what I have known about myself and my "relationships" with others in my life...the whole very ugly, very dark side of me that came out during that time. And over someone who was and is COMPLETELY NOT WORTH IT! My other female friends at the time, doing what friends do, told me that it was her, not me, that was the crazy one. But I have always known that I handled that situation in such a high school manner. The same behavior that I have been known to criticize in others, I exemplified to the thousandth degree during that time.

I wanted to post a comment on her blog, telling her that she was so right to have walked away from that girl she had talked about in her poem at that time. Because that girl in the poem that had hurt her trust so was just that--a girl trying to walk in woman shoes, and failing miserably.

I can say that now, a few years later, I have gotten better. No more a sucka 4 love. Learning more & more everyday how to put on my big girl panties and get over certain things that life throws my way. But I still have a long way to go. Maybe this will be the year. The age of "young and dumb" had passed now.

Thank you, for posting that poem. It reminds me that for as far as I have come from that moment, I still have a long way to go


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