Principal

My first Belle-Noir.com sponsored event is now one week away. Up until maybe two days ago, I was very scared. Ticket sales hadn't been wonderful and I was suffereing from some serious self-doubt. Wednesday saw a huge change in the tides. Ticket sales picked up literally overnight.

Now the only thing that has been on my mind are my friends and their support, and in some cases their lack thereof. I'm not one who is going to beg someone to do something. If you are, you are because you want to. My mome, God bless her, sent flyers to all of her friends and grew kind of indignant with those friends of hers whom she didn't hear from or who said they couldn't come.

"Mom, it's okay," I told her yesterday. "Ticket sales are better."

"That's not the point," she said,"I have been supportive of other people's children, buying candy or whatever, for years now. They need to support my kid too."

"I get that,"I told her,"But it isn't that crucial. People do what they want to do. It doesn't mean they aren't any less your friend."

"I know that," she said as she turned back to her computer to finish her online shopping,"it's the principal, though."

For awhile, I thought the same thing. It's the principal of it all. If you are a friend, whether you like poetry or not, on the strength of my having been there for you, you need to come out and show love. But now, I'm not so stressed over it. I have more people supporting me in this venture that I have never met than people whom I have known for years on end. And I know that it isn't that they don't believe in me. Most don't get the point of what I am doing because they haven't had to walk in my shoes as a Black Woman or a plus size woman. So I can't knock them. I can only be thankful to God for those who understand, or even if they don't, love me enough to support me.