BronxPearl v2.0

Confessions, ramblings, musings, and opinions from a BBW as she embraces 30 31 Years and Life (or at least tries to).

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Bridging The Gap

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. –John Rohn

Belle in Brooklyn wrote a post yesterday reflecting about her days in college writing classes and how the criticism of one particular professor angered her because she had been given a B+ in a class and had been told by the professor “point-blank” that she was “Good, but a long way from great.”

Oh could I relate to that. If there was one trait that I prided myself on throughout school from 5th grade until I graduated from Marymount Manhattan, it was my writing. Once, I bumped heads with one professor who told me, “I know people have been telling you probably all your life that you are a great writer, but you are, at best, just decent right now.” Ouch.

At the end of that same semester, I had another professor who told me in a note at the end of my term paper that she had “given me an A” on it “for the thoughts expressed, not the effort put into it.” She also noted that” I seemed like I have a lot of talent, but choose to just get by rather than pushing to the fullest extent of my potential.” Ouch again.

The words of the latter professor have really stayed with me all of this time, mostly because she was correct. Writing used to come easy to me, and I took advantage of that back then because (as I told myself then) I was sick of college and just wanted to graduate.

I say used to because as of late, writing has not come easy to me at all. I have wanted to call it writer’s block, but it really is just a lack of having anything interesting to talk about, a point I realized also in reading Belle’s post. She mentioned that she made herself disciplined in writing by doing a writing exercise of writing about one thing that she sees everyday. I had a creative writing teacher tell me that once as well, and back then I did the exercise with ease. Marymount Manhattan College (MMC) is located on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. There was no shortage of interesting things to see, be them inside the walls of the college or walking to and from on the east side catching transportation back and forth to the northeast Bronx. Once I graduated, I still wrote everyday in my journal and was able to express my opinions and thoughts as part of groups on Yahoo. Then, as I was introduced to the blogsphere, I started my own and began reading some great blogs, it fueled my writing fires once again.

It was once I started my full time job that things went down hill as far as my concerns with writing. My time after work was focused on the website, and not much else. Now, two + years in at this job, I realize that I’m not inspired to write because I don’t see anything. I don’t witness anything in my drive to work (or if I do, I am oblivious because I am so disgusted with my current 9 to 5). On my way home, I am exhausted and ready to come home, east some dinner, and get back on the computer once again to work on my budding multimedia empire until 11pm when I go to sleep in order to prepare for the next day’s grind.

I always berate myself, saying that I need to be more disciplined. About a lot of things really: my finances, my health, my goals. And yet, just as my professor said nearly five years ago now, I continue to skate through as opposed to putting my nose to the grindstone and busting out what could be something great. I could blame it on having surrounded myself with like-minded people for awhile, but then, at the end of the day, it all comes right back to me.

I have been working on several blogs, some actually detailing items I mentioned above that I need to be more disciplined with, Perhaps having gotten this blog out and posted will help me get the others posted as well. I know certainly that I won’t get anywhere by skating by anymore.


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